JASON X
By Lance the Security Guard

The promotion for this movie states " Evil gets an upgrade", but it should say 'Script needs an upgrade".

The gist of the plot is Government Scientists from Crystal Lake Research Facility have captured the indestructible killer Jason Voorhees. Yes, Crystal Lake Research Facility, I just have to wonder what clown at New Line Cinema bought into this lame idea. But! I digress. The Scientists have decided to contain Jason by freezing him into cryogenic suspension, wow like that idea hasn't been done to death

. Jason escapes and well SURPRISE! HE STARTS KILLING SCIENTISTS!!! This young female scientist named Rowan manages to trick Jason into the freezing chamber and locks him in. But before she came make all of the freezing adjustments, Jason manages to stab Rowan thru the freezing chamber and thru the stomach. The chamber freezes both of our stars for about 400 years.

I know what you are thinking, This sucks so far, but it only gets worse. Earth is now called "Old Earth" and college students fly to this Old Earth to do research on artifacts. The students find our frozen couple and transports them to the ship to thaw out. You guessed it, Jason thaws out and starts killing students.

Okay, Where to begin.......This Movie sucks the big donkey phallus! I kept repeating to myself, during this movie why? I guess when Jason morphs into the upgraded Jason, its kinda cool. But he is only the "upgraded Jason" for five minutes. I mean if you are not going to give me any hot sex scenes or beautiful naked women to look at, make the upgraded jason last longer then five minutes!

The only thing worth mentioning is the woman that plays Rowan is hot and Kane Hodder makes his fifth appearance as Jason. I read where he said this was going to be the definitive Jason Movie that would put the other movies to shame. WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!

I should have made the manager give me back my time wasted watching this crap( movie was free), but that is what I get for trying to relive my childhood for a couple of hours. I was nine years old when I first saw Friday the 13th pt 2, with Jason Voorhees. I can't believe that I am 32 years old and still watching this idiot killed teenage morons in very unimaginative ways. I mean the guy has killed teenagers, in every way possible. I have read in Cinescape Magazine that there is a Freddy vs Jason script trying to get made, but I think it is time to let a dead dog rest..........FOREVER!!!!!!!

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